I have always been fascinated with the art of blogging. Today was the day I decided to take my fascination and write what is on my mind, as if today were the last day I could ever do it again. Let's begin with a letter I wrote to my favorite comedian, Mindy Kaling.
Dear Mindy Kaling (or whomever is reading),
I am a student at Dominican University of California in San Rafael. I am currently entering into my third year and upon graduation, I will have had to fulfill the responsibilities of an internship. While I understand you are a very busy person, with your new and successful show that I am obsessed with, I write to you with the request that you accept this as an application to be an intern with you over my Christmas break this winter. I know what you are thinking: “Who is this weirdo who thinks that they can intern with me, Mindy the Great, when I have much more important things to do with my life?”
I understand where you are coming from Mindy (or Mindy’s assistant). If anything, I hope you get a good laugh out of this letter, as that is the second most important thing to me. Let me begin with why you should accept this application.
Reason Number 1: I’m amazing.
Let’s face the facts: I am choosing to write to you over all the other amazing female comedians out there, like Tina Fey, Kristin Whig, and Lady Gaga (she is so full of shit and wears the ugliest clothes, I can’t help but laugh whenever she makes an appearance, all while having mad beats on the radio).
Reason Number 2: I watch your show.
I’m not talking about The Office, although if I could go back in time, I would watch it from day one. I am talking about The Mindy Project. You add just the right amount of spice and wit into every episode that tears are shed by the end of each one, because I simply cannot contain the laughter. Who would have thought you would travel to Haiti with Reverend Casey!? Not me! By the way, I think you do a great New Jersey accent. Ignore the haters, like Danny Castellano.
Reason Number 3: I have great fashion sense, just like you.
Ok, so I may have lied about this last one. I don’t have the best fashion sense, so I can’t say that you do either. I’ll just leave that to the professionals.
Reason Number 4: My creative ideas are flawless.
I have a few examples:
- We could write a country song that isn’t about blonde haired, blue eyed girls.The only song I can think of that speaks to a brunette with brown eyes is called Beer Gut, and it ain’t too pleasing. You should look it up so you can see what I mean. We could write about the brown haired, brown eyed girls like me (a half-Mexican) or you! If we wrote about you, it would be an easy chart topper, no doubt about it. Seriously, this is genius. We could write about curvy girls without mentioning any kind of beer gut. You could even star in the music video. I bet Blake Shelton would be down for something like this. He’s always cracking jokes and I see him everywhere, like on TV, the radio, and in magazines. We could call the song Short, Dark, and Daring. Or my favorite, I Like My Tea Like I Like My Women: Dark and Strong, With a Little Extra Something. Ok, so maybe the last one was a little too long, but we can always work on it while I am interning!
- If I don’t make it as a comedian, I can always settle for being an inventor. Imagine yourself, chillin out maxin, relaxin all cool in front of the television when you have the sudden urge to eat food because, well, food is delicious. Of course, that isn’t why the food is being consumed, but rather, you’re bored. Brace yourself, because what you are about to read is out of this world. The answer lies in one of the greatest movies of all time: Willy Wonka. I could invent a bubblegum that you chew when you’re bored. This isn’t any ordinary bubblegum. It is just like the kind Violet Beauregarde chewed, except this time, you won’t turn into a giant blueberry and your cravings are totally satisfied.
Reason Number 5: I read your autobiography, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
I should have led with this one. It is, after all, the reason I decided to write to you.
If you still don’t have the urge to write back and request that I be your intern, I understand. Enclosed is a picture I went ahead and photoshopped of us at the Oscars. As you can tell, we have become best friends and hang out, like, all the time. If, by chance, you just think it’s creepy and weird, feel free to send it back with an autograph. You can write something along the lines of, “To Madison, my new best friend, home girl, and shining star.”
Thank you again for taking the time to read this letter. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Madison Munson
PS: I think that naming your child Madison would be a brilliant idea. Just putting it out there.
