Rihanna Wrote a Song About Drugs.

So the other night I was stretch-dancing to Rihanna's song Stay in my zumba class, but was completely distracted by her lyrics. I always thought that this song was actually about drugs, but now I have proof. I am going to prove my point by taking you on a lyrical journey through her entire song, pointing out where either the drugs or God (sung by Mikky Ekko) make a musical appearance.

All along it was a fever:
A cold sweat hot-headed believer
Like, seriously. That fever is the withdrawal from all that Molly you have been popping with Miley. 

                    http://rollingout.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Rihanna-Coachella-Drugs-3-001.jpg

I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me something,"
He said, "If you dare, come a little closer."
Oh my gosh RiRi, you can't get everything you want just by throwing your hands in the air and flipping out on poor Mikky Ekko, your drug dealer. And girl, you better watch out. I am pretty sure that was a threat he just made.

Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know.
Please don't tell me he just hit you and your head is all spinning around in circles. Well, I did warn you that he was threatening you when he dared you to come closer to him. Also, asking him to tell you where the drugs are isn't going to change anything. That fool is still cray.

Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay
Well now you've done it RiRi. You have officially been hooked. Ain't nobody got time foh dat!
You are gonna need some serious rehab if you want to get out of this mess without touching lips with death. You do not want the drug to stay. It's a liar and a cheater and abuses you, just like your ex-boo!!

It's not much of a life you're living
It's not just something you take–it's given

RiRi, You better start listening to Mr. Mikky! That dude may be a drug dealer, but he knows what life is all about. This is also where I think God totally takes over Mikky's body and is all like, "Rihanna. I gave you that life. Don't you dare go taking it away with that Molly shit."

Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know.
There goes Mikky again, acting like a fool. Dude, hitting women is not ok. Hitting anybody is not ok! Why you gotta do her like that?

Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay.

I think I can honestly say that God is still inside Mikky's body. If this really were God, this is what all this mumbo jumbo means:
"Hey RiRi..sooooo I know you like this drug Molly and all, but you're becoming a bit of a crackhead. I don't really know how to feel about this, since it makes you move all weird and you look like you might be about to have an overdose. You're just so vulnerable and it makes me feel like I can't live without you, buuuuuuuut, I can't bring you heaven looking like such a hot mess. So, I want you to stay and figure your shit out before you see me again."

Ooh, ooh, ooh, the reason I hold on
Ooh, ooh, ooh, 'cause I need this hole gone
(RiRi is singing again) 
Rihanna, you're running out of excuses. Either you get help and figure out how to fix your "hole" or you're gonna be seeing paradise a lot sooner than you should.

http://www.blogcdn.com/slideshows/images/slides/212/638/1/S2126381/slug/l/screen-shot-2013-12-30-at-7-32-29-pm-1.jpg

^^^I can't even^^^

Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving.

I am pretty sure God has left the scene of the crime and it is now just RiRi and Mikky the drug dealer. I don't really know what is happening right now, but I'm pretty sure they are in a face-off singing battle of some sort. 
From Rihanna's perspective, she is all like, "You are calling ME broken!? You are the broken one! You've never seen the light the way I have! I have seen God! It might be hard to tell which one of us is caving, but if I am being honest, it's you."
From Druggie Mikky's perspective: "You are calling ME broken!? You are the broken one! Girl, all you do is see the light! Fool, I may pretend that I don't know which one of us is caving, but I am also a liar. I' a drug dealer. This shouldn't surprise you.

Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay, stay.

I want you to stay, oh. 

Man, they must love working through their problems via singing, because this whole last part is a duet. 

Welcome to the Judgment "Free" Zone

The other day I was made aware of the story about a woman at a Richmond Planet Fitness being asked to put on a shirt because her toned body was intimidating other people in the gym (Gym Tells Woman to Cover that Sh*t Up). Yes, it is true that her outfit was not following the dress code, however, I have witnessed people wearing far more ratchet clothing than what she was wearing.

Above pictured is the woman who was apparently too fit to function. Below is an example of a sign at a planet fitness, stating their dress code.

I would personally like to point out something wrong with this image. Planet Fitness has a motto to be a "judgment-free zone," yet at the bottom of this image it is written "all subject to our judgment." Uhmm, huh?? Were they on drugs when they wrote this? Is this a joke? 

Going back to toned and tanned Tiffany up top, at the Vallejo Planet Fitness, part of their dress code does include that spaghetti strap tank tops are not allowed, along with the same regulations as the ones in the above image. 

Let me give you a list of different outfits I have seen while working out at good ole Planet Fitness, none of which include spaghetti strap tanks:

1. Men and women wearing pajama pants. I'm not even talking about the plaid pants or those sweats that bunch at the ankles. I'm talking about those fleece pajama pants that come out at Christmas time and have football team logos plastered all over them in ways similar to a teenager having a massive acne breakout. Sure, they may seem comfortable, but you look ridiculous.
2. Crocs. First, those shoes should be illegal. Like, wow. That's a nice pair of Crocs, said no one ever. Crocs should never be worn, but if you are a person who owns them, I suggest they only be worn in your house, on Halloween, or if you are going dumpster diving. 
3. Men and women wearing pajama pants AND Crocs. This is like a double threat. Please reconsider your wardrobe choices. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not saying that you should get all dolled with your makeup and hair done. With that being said, you need to invest in some shoes with laces.
4. Women wearing their hair down. Honey, this is not a club. Put your hair up. This really bothers me (this was more of a personal one). You may think you look like Beyonce, running on that tread mill and shaking your hips to whatever song you're listening to, but you don't. You look like a hyena having a seizure. 

Out of all these four things, I have never seen any of these people being told that they needed to change. I find nothing wrong with this woman wearing ACTUAL workout clothes to, guess what? Work out! What I do have a problem with is people looking like a hot mess and wearing sleep wear to exercise. This is not a bed and breakfast, this is a gym people!

I would also like to say that I still continue to exercise here, but the prices are really low and I am a poor, starving college student.