Soul-less People

Some days I really do not like people. Sometimes I wonder, "Do these people have souls? Did they sell their soul to Satan? How did this sperm make it to the egg first?"

People who I believe have no soul:

1. People who cut me off.
This is a given. Put on your blinker and if I want to let you over, then I will. If I don't want you in my lane, it's probably because you are a terrible driver, extremely slow, or someone else pissed me off, so I am taking it out on you. Don't just swerve into my lane and expect me to hit my brakes and think everything is fine. For all you know, I could have been in a serious jam session and not paying as much attention to assholes like you.

2. People who drive in the Fastrak lane when they don't have Fastrak.
Before I purchased Fastrak, I felt the pain that other people felt who had to wait in that long-ass line at the toll booth. I would be twenty cars deep and some poopoo head will drive all the way to the front in the Fastrak lane, then cut some poor person off in the front of the line. You, sir, are Satan's spawn.

3. People who cut me off on Highway 37.
I hate you. If I have to wait 45 minutes to get on that stupid one-lane highway, then so can you. Don't come over here with your "I do what I want" mentality and think you can get away with it. I said that people who used to cut me off in the toll booth were Satan's spawn. You are Satan. You have no soul. I'm pretty sure you weren't even born with one. I wouldn't be too surprised if you came out of your mother with horns and a pitch fork. You probably stabbed all the other sperm with it too.

4. People who cannot park.
Why. Why is it so difficult for you to park? No one will judge you if you have to readjust after you puill into the spot. Ok, maybe you will receive a little judgment, but that's ok. It's better than dealing with the wrath of me. Alright, maybe you have a soul. but you are probably just really stupid.

5. People who give me attitude.
Don't even come at me with those flailing  arms and sassy attitude. I wasn't the person who pissed you off when you woke up this morning, so don't even think you can whip your hair and get away with it. I will give the attitude right back, and you won't like it. Take your soulless, three-snaps-make-a-z, ghetto-talk and walk away. Shut up and walk away.